Consider this scenario: You and your partner have been stable for a while and want to start thinking about your future. This future also includes moving in together. Whether you’re young or old, taking the step to move in with your partner for the first time can be an exciting but nerve-racking experience. When I first moved in with my fiance, it was a really big step. It made me nervous at first, but it was an absolutely wonderful experience.
Your first move in with a loved one doesn’t have to be stressful and should be something you really enjoy. So, if you are about to move in, or have already moved in with your partner, let me offer you some tips that have really helped me through the transition period.
Talk about it. This advice is for those who have not yet moved in but are currently in the process of launching the idea. It might sound like a bit of a stretch, but trust me it isn’t, you have to talk about it and you have to talk about it in a very deep way. Moving in with your partner is a very important step and commitment, which means it doesn’t have to be something you just do. Take the time to sit down and discuss it with your partner and anyone whose opinion you value. After all, you don’t want your family to hate your decision and come after both of you. At the same time, it’s always your decision at the end of the day. You should do what you both feel the best. Your loved ones know you well, but you know yourself better.
Designate a special moment “you”. Once you move in together, you’ll be spending every day together, which can be great, but having an hour or two a day where you sit on your own is healthy. As far as my fiancé and I are concerned, our times designated “you” coincide with each other. Usually he sits on the couch and plays video games, and I sit in my papasan chair on Facebook or Pinterest. It causes us to ignore each other and allow this separation even though we are in the same room. Whether your “you” times coincide or occur at different times of the day, you need to find what works for you. If you can have that separation, it makes the times when you cuddle during your favorite TV show even better.
Be patient. You will learn a lot of new things about each other, so try to keep that in mind before you immediately get mad at something your partner has done. I know I have a nasty habit of “exploding” wherever I am. Give me 10 minutes and it looks like an atomic bomb has gone off; clothes, bags, chargers and stuffed animals everywhere. Needless to say, I had to learn to contain the explosion and it saved me a lot of headaches. Another example could be a morning ritual that involves heavy training at 6 a.m. While you recognize their athletic nature, the screaming dubstep during training isn’t exactly what you signed up for. Take the time to talk with your partner and find a way to compromise with them so that both parties can be happy.
Share the workload. When it comes to household chores, travel, cooking, etc., it is very important to share them fairly. You shouldn’t be the one doing it all and neither should your partner. Find what works for you and stick to it. If you know you hate folding clothes but don’t mind the rest of the laundry process, ask if your partner would be willing to do it if you do all the washing and drying. There are things I rarely do, like cleaning our two cats’ litter boxes. However, I also realize that on the days my fiance worked hard, I will understand how disgusting it is to make things easier after work. There will always be tasks that neither of you want to do, but dividing them up evenly or turning them off every week is an easy compromise.
These are just four things you should keep in mind when you first move in with your partner. Every relationship is different, so the most important message to take away is to communicate and find what works for you. If you find a routine that works for both of you, stick to it and don’t be discouraged if the first few weeks are a little tense. Once you get used to all the quirks and perks of living together, it can truly be one of the most amazing experiences.
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